Thank you to all those of you who've been praying for my dad. It isn't easy to cope when someone you love is in a coma, or not able to communicate with you. I've been through this with a friend before, and it's very stressful. That said, I've also been in a coma myself so I know that however stressful it is for me - or the family, or Dad's friends - it is way more stressful for him.
- Keep going. Breaking down is not an option when other people depend on you. As long as there is hope, there is work to do. Be honest and practical about what Covey calls your 'circle of influence'. What CAN you do?
- I can ask people to pray.
- On occasion, I am allowed to see my dad.
- I can look after my mum.
- I can take care of myself so that I'm strong enough to be there for my dad.
- Expect nothing. When my brother died, people who'd been there for me all my life disappeared. My best friend never contacted me again. Expect nothing of the people around you. It's not about you. They have their own issues. Many people talk up a good game when it comes to supporting others, but flake out the moment you need them. My brother used to like the expression 'friends are like parachutes. If they are not there for you the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.' Even family members can sometimes fall into this category. Don't get involved with it. You have enough on your plate.
- Wonderful things can happen. Miracles can, and do, happen. There are other good things that happen too, though. The flip side of point '2'. Some of the people you least expect to be there for you, will be there. I can't overstate how supportive some of my Twitter friends have been. Some have been more supportive than 'real world' friends or, even, family.