How to Handle Trauma

Thank you to all those of you who've been praying for my dad. It isn't easy to cope when someone you love is in a coma, or not able to communicate with you. I've been through this with a friend before, and it's very stressful. That said, I've also been in a coma myself so I know that however stressful it is for me - or the family, or Dad's friends - it is way more stressful for him.

Rather than just feel sorry for myself (which helps nobody), I thought I'd try to be honest about this experience while I'm going through it, so that I can try to help anyone else going through something similar. Dad would expect me to do something like this, and I can't let him down. 

If you're going through trauma...

1. Keep going. Breaking down is not an option when other people depend on you. As long as there is hope, there is work to do. Be honest and practical about what Covey calls your 'circle of influence'. What CAN you do? 
   • I can ask people to pray. 
   • On occasion, I am allowed to see my dad. 
   • I can look after my mum. 
   • I can take care of myself so that I'm strong enough to be there for my dad.
2. Expect nothing. When my brother died, people who'd been there for me all my life disappeared. My best friend never contacted me again. Expect nothing of the people around you. It's not about you. They have their own issues. Many people talk up a good game when it comes to supporting others, but flake out the moment you need them. My brother used to like the expression 'friends are like parachutes. If they are not there for you the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.' Even family members can sometimes fall into this category. Don't get involved with it. You have enough on your plate.
3. Wonderful things can happen. Miracles can, and do, happen. There are other good things that happen too, though. The flip side of point '2'. Some of the people you least expect to be there for you, will be there. I can't overstate how supportive some of my Twitter friends have been. Some have been more supportive than 'real world' friends or, even, family. 

I hope this helps someone. There's loads more I could probably put, but I've got to rush off and see Dad. Keep saying prayers and sending positive messages.

Rebecca

How to Handle Trauma

Read more...

† Please Pray For My Dad. Thanks.

By chance, during an unrelated scan, my father was found to have an aortic aneurysm. We were told in May that there was a one in four chance he could die any day. I can't imagine how terrifying this period of time has been for my dad. The surgery to fix this problem was life-threatening but necessary.

He went through the operation, only to wake from the anaesthetic and be told they'd done nothing. A huge, painful scar showed the ordeal of the operation, but the aneurysm was still in place. It was in an awkward position, and he would need treatment elsewhere - if a doctor could be found who was willing to take on the surgery.

We waited. Eventually, a wonderful doctor stepped forward. Dad was making a good recovery from the first operation when we heard he would now go in for another. Dad was adamant that the operation should go ahead as soon as possible. A few days ago, it did.

The last couple of days have been very difficult. The operation took over eleven hours. He has been in an induced coma since then. There was a point when we thought he would have a leg amputated, but that has not happened. Yesterday, he came out of the coma but was not able to speak. He's now been sedated again. We can't communicate with him, and we don't know how he feels or what the effects of the operation have been on him. 

During the last operation, so many people online prayed for my dad and when I told him of this, it meant so much to him. He can't tell me anything at the moment, but I know it would mean a lot to him if my online friends prayed for him again. Please tell people at your churches, and ask them to share his story and pray. If you are not a religious person, please keep him in your thoughts, and think positively about his recovery.

Thank you.

Rebecca

† Please Pray For My Dad. Thanks.

Read more...

The End of September Approaches...

A year ago, I set a deadline. Five days from now, I'd hoped to publish my first novel. 


Extraordinary things are happening in my life. The kinds of things that make you down tools and give up. I won't give up. My deadline may have to be a bit stretchy, and it may be hard to prioritise it, but I'll do it. This book will be out, on Kindle, well before Christmas. I may or may not be able to celebrate the launch, but the launch will happen. I've worked too hard to give up now. 

The End of September Approaches...

Read more...

OMG! One of my Blogs is a Blog of Note!!

The Bexter Review

OMG! One of my Blogs is a Blog of Note!!

Read more...

Sad News for Writers

You know when you wake up and think 'why did I bother?' I've had a couple of those days in a row. Yesterday ended in a giant drama-fest of sobbing and tea over a teeny tiny Facebook error. Today is much worse. I'm bored with crying though, so the eyes are dry. Every cloud..., eh?


The editor of Publish Now! emailed me today to tell me that he has decided not to go ahead with the magazine. Market changes make it less financially viable.


I think it's sad for the writing community as a whole as I've had so much positive feedback about the idea of a magazine for people interested in self-publishing. Obviously, I'm now not a columnist any more and the interview slot I had in the magazine has now disappeared, so those of you I planned to interview for the magazine will not have that opportunity any more.


This is all very sudden and a bit gutting, but this kind of thing happens. Rather than cry into my porridge, I'm putting together a plan for something a bit different. I'll keep you informed. Meanwhile, chilly weather is closing in and porridge three times a day is proving uninspiring, so if you know anyone looking for a writer, I can herd words into all kinds of reasonably priced formats. Thanks. :)  


I lost 100+ (unpaid) hours, so Operation Sh*tstorm is officially back on, but now my timetable gapes open, and in the empty spaces I feel inclined to write the following words:

PUBLISH YOUR BOOK, WOMAN! 

Sad News for Writers

Read more...

Is Privacy Meaningless?

The piece I wrote for The Spectator's Arts and Culture blog spoke about this. The iPhone goes even further. Apple has plans to take photos of you without your knowledge, and to spy on your heartbeat. Seriously. (Since breaking this news the original source of it has gone down. Shenanigans?) 


How much does privacy matter to you? Does it matter at all any more? More to the point, as writers, does this liberate us? The big, historical, fear about writing is surely the exposure of the self. If your iPhone and Google are already taking care of that for you, there's no longer anything to worry about. Google and Apple have your soul. 


Mind you, that Hawkings chap is trying his best to convince you that you never had one of those to begin with. I retract my earlier tweet that, since his argument against any divine force hinges on one not being 'necessary' he is also questioning the existence of kittens or iPhones. Obviously, that was a fib. One of the newest patents Steve Jobs has applied for ensures that anyone questioning the existence - or necessity - of an iPhone will be tracked down by the nearest iPhone and fried. Obviously, that is a fib. Oh, and ... since this Google owns Blogger, and YouTube, and this is a Blogger blog that contains YouTube vids ... um ... GOOGLE RULES!!!!

Is Privacy Meaningless?

Read more...

Want to Appear in This Glossy Magazine? (Podcast)

Not only could some of you appear in this magazine, there's SO much more exciting stuff that has happened and been arranged for you. I told you I was up to something - conspiring behind your backs to make great things happen for you - well here's the first part of that. It's AWESOME!

Listen to the podcast above for the AMAZING news about what has happened to me, and what I have negotiated for you as a consequence. I said I would find a way to pay you back for all your support, and I have. This is the biggest ever opportunity for the Word Nerd Army to show their stuff. Leave loads of comments! 

• How much would you be comfortable to pay for an annual subscription? 
• What about a digital version? What device do you use, what country are you from, and what do you think would be a good price?
• What kind of content do you want? 
• What questions do you need answered?
• What excites you about the idea of a regular self-publishing magazine?
• Of course, as I'll have a column in the magazine, I'll be looking for people to interview. Why should you be featured in Publish Now! ?

Leave your answers in the comments section, and please ask everyone in your own blog communities, and on Twitter and Facebook, to come here and leave their own comments. The more interest there is, and the more magazines are sold from this blog, the more likely you'll get the magazine you really want, at last.

bit.ly/publishnow

Want to Appear in This Glossy Magazine? (Podcast)

Read more...